The Emotional Orphan

i just want to be loved
i just want to be held
love me-hold me
at least for 72 hours
until i’m no longer a
danger to myself or others

fully functional
anatomically correct
let me function
let me be correct
at least let me hold you
at least for 72 hours
until i’m no longer a
danger to myself or others

have i been sewn shut by myself
tied four points to a cloud
dying to put my loving arms around you
but the cycle never really ends
until my truth comes godsmack in the face
what rules me is a lie until i’m no longer a
danger to myself or others

no leader-no follower
just a mess
not the way i’m meant to be
that’s just the way it is.
am i a helpless victim
until i’m no longer a
danger to myself or others

i just want to be loved
i just want to be held
love me-hold me
at least for 72 hours
until i’m no longer a
danger to myself or others

assuming the worst.
always assume the worst.
no one listens to me
or my panic anymore
it’s fucking boring
i’m freaking out-making me so sick
more a danger to myself
than to others

at the end my parts go to science
but for now ambitions run dry
hopes and dreams swallowed alive
the new plague-new disease-
only i am affected
new plague-new disease-
am i only infected
the virus-the cancer
tell me it’s not too late

i just want to be loved
i just want to be held
love me-hold me
at least for 72 hours
until i’m no longer a
danger to myself or others

i just want to be held
at least for 72 hours
tell me it’s not too late

042809