Bleeding Out

Bleeding Out – Chapter II

 

 

Say what you will
about how fine things are.
I dont buy it.

For a lot of reasons.

You are not the kind of person
who would do the things
you have done.

You are simply confused,
with a slanted view of things
that create a desire to run.

THAT
is understandable.
THAT
is natural,

To turn your back
on all things that
cant come from
anywhere else —
or cant be manufactured
is not .

You are not a good enough liar
to have fooled me.
It is not in your nature.
I was a liar half of my life.

Not with you,
you knew me… when.
So you tried to fool me,
because it was so easy to fool
yourself.

How could you
possibly forget
where I come from?

So say things are fine,
but I heard you
I heard you cry how
you hated yourself.

I heard you cry regret
I heard you cry for more-
for different.

I heard you laugh
for me.

The cries didnt come from nowhere
but from confusion
an internal struggle (sheltering yourself away, )
and looking for the quick fix,
to not take love at your feet
as a gift.

Fate’s emotional band-aid
An answer.
Something more-
Something different.

You should know I understand.
We dont feel we deserve it.
We dont know if we can believe it exists.

False reasons,
from any number of sources
have made us adept
at numbing ourselves
against the good,
against the cleansing,
and healing that comes from dealing with it.

Healing that Comes from Love of the Other
Healing that comes from Love of self.
Healing that comes from Love for another.

Yet…
It is easier to build walls,
to hate ourselves in secret,
to put on a happy face
until the cracks get too deep…
or worse.

I Love you.
Cracks and all.
Because I’m still
filling in my own.
I believe it will stop the bleeding.

 

_emotionalorphan_