This is a test of your emergency long lasting net worth.
For the next thirty days or so, your loyalty will be questioned.
Your honesty and integrity will be examined,
and all the kindness, generosity, compassion and romance
you have offered will be reviewed for
sincerity and trustworthiness.
An inspection will be done,and recommendations made related to
your security provision potential,and ability to provide.
Morals and values will be screened as well as an evaluation of
fatherhood worthiness and parental qualification as
dictated by an invisible standard, and the Deadbeat Dad scale.
This is a test-only a test. In the event of a real emergency,
possession of a penis gives you the right to remain silent.
You would be given instructions on how to proceed, as you are
abandoned and left for dead.